In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s spooky season!
The pumpkins are flying off the shelves, the 10th season of The Walking Dead is well underway, and Zombieland 2: Double Tap is in cinemas.
But if actual undead hordes appeared on your street tomorrow, would you be ready? Could you survive in a post-apocalyptic hellscape, with flesh-eating zombies on every corner?
There’s a lot to be learned from years of on-screen horror and sci-fi when it comes to surviving the End Times, but let’s be honest – without a suitable vehicle, you probably wouldn’t last very long.
Currently, as surprising as it may seem, none of the manufacturers we represent have released a fully zombie-proof car onto the market. So, naturally, we took it upon ourselves to explore what a car designed to keep you alive as civilisation crumbles around you might look like…
Introducing the Zombia 3000
When we started thinking about the zombie-proof car of our dreams (or, more realistically, our nightmares), we couldn’t help being inspired by the new Land Rover Defender – “the toughest and most capable Land Rover ever made.”
But whilst the Defender has been tested in some pretty extreme conditions, it’s not been built to take on the endless swarms of the living dead that we might expect to encounter after an apocalyptic outbreak.
We’ve re-imagined a familiar 4×4, but with some uncompromising modifications for maximum zombie-proofing…
At the front of the vehicle is a fearsome-looking plough, perfect for negotiating zombie crowds at speed. The plough can be raised when necessary, depending on the terrain, or simply for more creative rampaging.
Bullet-proof windows are further shielded by reinforced metal bars, with the headlights also protected. Rear windows have been replaced with solar panels for back-up energy generation, also with additional protection.
Mounted on the roof are dual wide-angle flamethrowers, fog lights (to help you navigate through the fiery devastation you’ll leave in your wake), and also a drone launcher, so you can scope out the route ahead, or create a diversion that allows you to get to your next checkpoint with minimal fuss.
Inside the car, the usual entertainment system has been replaced with a CB radio for communication with other survivors once the phone networks have gone down. There’s also a computer console complete with advanced GPS functionality and gene-sequencing software, for when the responsibility of finding a cure inevitably falls to someone as desperately unqualified as you.
There’s also a healthy supply of Ordnance Survey maps, as relying on technology will only get you so far in a post-apocalyptic world.
Ramming and torching your zombie foes from the safety of your vehicle is all well and good, but you won’t be able to stay in there forever.
Thankfully, you’ll find the rear cabin of the Zombia 3000 comes well equipped with handheld weapons and ammunition, along with a range of tools, medicines, water, food and fuel supplies to give you the best possible start as you embark on your dystopian road trip.
Whether you’re picking off zombies, fending off rival gangs, or simply hunting for your next meal, there’s a suitable cache of weapons for you to choose from, along with enough ammo to last you a little while.
The shotgun might be effective, but it definitely won’t be quiet. If you know what’s good for you, then you’ll focus on stealth whenever you can; take the time to master the crossbow and find your favourite sword, because in the end they might be all you’ve got.
Is this the car you’d want in a zombie apocalypse? Are there any essential features we’ve missed? Tweet us @JCT600 and let us know what you think!
All images in this post are covered by a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike licence – you’re free to share, adapt or republish them for any purpose – we just ask that you credit us with a link to this page.
Disclaimer: The Zombia 3000 is a purely fictional concept, created for a fictional world, and is not available to buy. JCT600 do not condone violence of any kind.